Dr. Shame

I don't know if you've caught on to this, but I'm a fairly positive person. One thing I don't like? Someone raining on my parade.

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Today I went to the doctor for a follow-up on the blood work that she took for my annual physical. This is a new doctor for me, she is a Wellness doctor which was definitely a different experience. My first appointment, I felt a little uncomfortable with her abrupt manner and I didn't think her physical exam was very thorough. But I thought, hey it's the first time, I'm back in a few weeks maybe she will warm up. 

At my first appointment, I told the doctor that I was very frustrated because I am struggling to lose weight. I shared my weight loss history and told her that my goal was to lose an additional 20 pounds. She gave me a food pyramid and encouraged me to eat whole foods, eliminate meat and dairy from my diet and sugar. 

It looks kind of like this:

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Eating vegan doesn't seem crazy to me but I thought okay, if this is something I want to pursue then I will ease into it and perhaps try to eat vegetarian and still continue to track calories. 

I have been really proud of my progress. For the most part I have successfully eaten vegetarian for about 3 weeks and have tried to limit my dairy consumption. I still eat candy, which I know I need to work on but I have a serious sweet tooth. 

I brought in printed copies of Myfitnesspal and was excited to show her my progress. I like talking about food and portioning. It's interesting to me. I told her I had eliminated meat from my diet and was working on dairy but I still had a pretty serious sweet tooth. 

She looked at my tracking and said "Yeah, girl scout cookies". 

Her tone was very disproving. I told her that I eat sweets but I try to find a balance and try to stay within my calorie range. I try really hard to portion out the sweets I eat. I felt really uncomfortable. 

I feel like I've made so much progress in my life with my weight.

But there's something about a doctors disapproval that makes me feel like I weigh over 250 pounds again. I have worked so hard to build myself up and to make myself feel strong and healthy but when a doctor doesn't support those positive things I'm doing I feel defeated, angry and frustrated. 

Doctors shouldn't make us feel ashamed!! It doesn't matter if you are overweight or underweight or the perfect weight, you shouldn't feel shame about your health, you should feel supported to make healthy decisions. This shame can prevent people from seeking the healthcare they need. If you're overweight you know it, you don't need someone treating you like crap, more than likely you're saying worse things to yourself in your head. What I need from a doctor is someone to believe I can make those decisions. 

I need someone to empower me and to say "Bailey, you've done amazing things for your health. If you want to stop eating too much sugar you can do that, you have all the tools you need. And I'm here to help you" 

I don't think that's too much to ask. That doctor has lost my business. 

I will empower myself!!

Since I decided to get healthy I:

I don't need a doctor to make me feel bad about myself. I will not allow someone to make me feel like I don't make good choices. 

I MAKE GOOD CHOICES! I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS!

I will not take abuse from a doctor. I deserve good healthcare that makes me feel good about my choices. 

So my advice? Stand up for yourself, feel good about your choices. I think that each day is a new day that I can make good decisions. Each time I decide whether or not to workout, make a healthy dining choice or do something healthy for myself I am making a commitment to living a healthy lifestyle. One bad decision doesn't erase my progress. 

Questions of the Day:

Do you like your doctor?

Have you ever thought about being vegan?

What decisions have you made today?